Ku koo :-)

So, today I had to do something "Creative" - It is my first trial. 

I cannot not laugh so loud when I play it! Yes, sometimes I have my moments!
Enjoy my 17 seconds of fame!

So many things

I want this, and i want that. No, I want something else, I want that, no this. So many things that I want, and nothing is ever enough. Because contradictions is what I want. Contradictions are my specialty. I want them all, all the time. My thoughts are extreme, they jump from one side to the other without consulting me. My inside is boiling, my outside is freezing. Peaceful but rebelling,  calm but bursting. This is how my mind looks like. I love it and I hate it. I adore it and i want to get rid of it.

Schizophrenia it is, but it is not. So many things I want, and so many contradictions. For example I want to write this post, but I also want to stop. Here I stop.

...and this is how my mind processes things. Run, cut, sound over, music, cut, edit.

The national film school, is irrelevant here (you'll understand once you watch) - but they really do have lots of money.

 

p.s. The video was filmed at the London Film Academy - September 2010

Haifa mood - revealed!

Haifa. July 4th 2010. Not in a very good mood. a sudden change that i cannot explain yet. maybe it is the ongoing stress in this country, maybe it is the politics? the heat? or maybe it is the economic situation? I am not sure. I am just not in a good mood. Laying on the sofa at my friend's place N., I can see and listen to the mediteranien sea waves, hitting the shore and the rocks. I can hear the train from time to time, and some traffic on the Haifa-Tel Aviv main street. I am laying on the sofa and thinking of what went wrong. I cannot point on one thing. Too many things went wrong in some people's eyes. So many things are right in others'. I am in between, the right and wrong, hanging in between, walking on the borders, on a very thin rope, trying to keep my balance and other people's balance as well. I want to sleep. close my eyes, open my eyes, and be somewhere else, in different situations, in different time, in different realities. I want to close my eyes, and see blue and green and purple, I want to see the colors of life mixing into one beautiful painting in a perfect harmony. I want to close my eyes, and wake up where there is no sorrow or dispair. is it heavean? is it hell? is it life or is it death? no one knows, and no one can tell where the hell is heaven, and where for God's sake is hell! what is better freeze to death or hot to death? does it matter the path or the process, if the results were the same?

Salt - a short movie

So, it has been a while indeed but it is not because I was lazy. I actually had lots of activities.

I completed the project I was working on very successfully with real high quality. Something that I am proud of. It was hectic.

I had a long (relatively) 2 weeks vacation at home with my family and friends in Haifa that I missed so much.

I celebrated my birthday in Barcelona, with the highlight of watching the spanish SuperCopa where Barcelona beats Seville 4:0 with Pedro in the first goal and Messi with another 3 goals. It is so perfect when the seats are so close to the players and no need for telescope. Thank you G.! I had the best of times.

On the way I also worked on my latest short movie - Salt. It is experimental and I am proud of it. I hope you will like it and enjoy it.

Today was my last day at work! Next week I will start a new one month adventure in London. I will study for filmmaking certificate. Not doing it for profession at this stage, but mainly in order to enrich my soul, and to explore new worlds.

Strength and Sensitivity

Red clay, black net, a yellow ball, strength and sensitivity.

Open Frensh, Roland Garros 2010 - Paris.

Many things were told about the Roland Garos and about the classic Tennis game that attracts so many poeple in the world. Three weeks ago, I was one of those fortunate people who came to Paris, "The City of Lights", or as others calls it, not mistakenly, "The City of Romance", especially in order to attend and experience this great sports event where Strength and Sensitivity meet and where Intellegence and Power complete each other.

From one side of the court to the other side of the court, they run, they stretch, they sweat and they hit the ball back. The young generation, as well a the legends, they have all their senses focused on one thing, to Win.

Looking at the players, in an intensive body and brain actions for 2-3 hours and sometimes more, with very short breaks of 1-2 minutes between games and sets, one can easily realize how the body and the brain harmonize to perfection. You cannot win this game with only one element, you need them both and you need them in their best shape all the way to the championship.

Strength and Sensitivity, this is what it needs. A strong body to keep up with the physical exertion and a sensitive brain to read the opponents next moves and emotional state. Only then it is possible to surprise with a hit that cannot be returned. A game point. A set point. A match point. A championship.

Yet, it is not it. Strength and Sensitivity is also for a sensitive body that understands how to move with charm, that is aware of each movement of each muscle, and a strong brain that can handle the psychological stress and keep out of distress. Strong brain that doesn't collapse in critical moment.

Strength and Sensitivity, that was my first associaltion when watching the games.

Great players I had the chance to see in action:

Women singles

Francesca Schiavone

Serena Williams

Venus Williams

Jelena Janković

Samantha Stosur

Men Singles

Rafael Nadal

Nicolas Almagro

Women Legends

Martina Navrátilová

Jana Novotná

Mary Joe Fernandez

Conchita Martinez

Men Legends over 45

Mansour Bahrami
John McEnroe
Pat Cash
Andres Gomez

and more...

The Mall

This morning, I woke up at 9:00, I brushed my teeth, and immediately began to watch a movie. “Sex and the City”. The 2nd “Sex & The City” film is already in the cinema and I thought to myself that it might be a good time to watch the 1st one. Just in Time. Only 2 years of delay. What a lovely way to start my morning.

New York. New York. Sometimes, deep inside I want to live like a New Yorker, a “real genuine” New Yorker, like the ones in the movies. Then I realize that I am fooling myself. I don’t have it in me. I am too practical for a New Yorker life style.

At least, after the film ended, I had thought of going out to the city. If no sex, then at least a city, no? :-)

But those ladies in the “Sex and the City” didn’t agree that I just go to the city, they demanded me to take care of few abandoned issues, that I didn’t take care of the last couple of weeks. So, some basic cosmetics stuff were taken care of. Few grams were lost from my body, and it felt good and fresh. I took a nice shower, indulged myself with my favorite Almond body oil, looked for my abandoned contact lenses and tried to remember how to use them. I don’t like my glasses, I feel that it hides me, it distracts people from the real me, hides my beauty. I am allowed to think so, at least. Sometimes I feel less feminine when I put my glasses on. I have to admit, not always and I know it is bullshit, and I am talking so un-feminist, but I was never lead by rules of others. Don’t ask me why I am justifying me feelings, maybe the rules of others do affect me after all. But when I want to feel pretty, then putting on my glasses definitely do not help. My contact lenses are on, my Polarized Ray Ban classic sun glasses, that I last used in summer of 2009 when I was visiting home for few days, were taken out of the drawer (this time I remembered where I put them), a pair of torn TH Jeans, a colorful Uniqlo shirt, G-Star white light jacket, and my red-white addidas sneakers are all put perfectly on me. I am ready to go.

This is me, conservative in almost everything other than my little brain (Maybe). I am conservative in cloths, conservative in shoes and conservative in choosing sun glasses. I find it a waste to buy something that will last for 2 months and then should be replaced by something else more fashionable. Mostly I look for the classic look, where “my stuff” can last for as much as I like. It is something that I am trying to explain, and I think I know the root cause of it. I try to change sometimes, and I successfully manage, but very fast I will be back on the conservative track. I am not sure whether I want to change. I have no problem to pay for expensive things, but as long as it is classic and sustainable. I will try to explain some other time. Not now, not here. Since now and here, I never meant to touch this topic, I didn’t even mean to get personal. All I wanted is to write something, just something, as simple as that. I didn’t write anything since the 6th of April, 2010, on my way back from a home visit. I felt paralyzed. I wanted to write about so many things, and I couldn’t even log in. I was still exhausted. My mind has blocked every time I wanted to start writing anything. I took a break, I was sure I will return, and here I am.

Sitting on the window side of Barresso coffee shop, looking at the people walking the streets of Copenhagen with their shorts, flip flops and sun glasses. Sunny at last, it is 18 degrees. Summer is here.

My cappuccino is prepared to perfection; My Tomato & Mozzarella sandwich, is not more than OK, but at least I got a 20% discount, so I don’t feel that bad buying it.

When I left home today I took with me few items:

My old green tiny shuffle iPod that has a laser-engraved signature on it:

“iAngelique. Made in Heaven.”

I connect it to my new olive green Sony designed headphones that I bought in Tokyo.

The main songs are for Marcel Khalife, Souad Massi, Wadi3 el Safi, Nasri shams el deen, Kamilia Jubran, some other modern “already old” Arabic mix songs, and most importantly “Sahrieh”, a Ziad Rahbani play.

I am so afraid to lose these songs if I try to add new songs. I don’t know where I have the list loaded into the iPod, and I am afraid that any update, I will lose everything. And I don’t want that. I keep listening to the same songs and the same play, over and over and I am never fed up.

I also have my 10” Samsung laptop that I bought last year in London. I bought it especially for this purpose, to be able to have it with me everywhere, any time and write if I feel like it. I already proved it as a great buy, one of my best buys in the last couple of years, I must admit. I love it. The battery also lasts for ~6+ hours, so come on let’s admit it. It is perfect.

I have a Sony HD 120 GB video camera which is also my still camera. I bought it in Berlin. My plan was (and still) to record myself for all kind of purposes, like video blog, or comedy sketches that I write, or just to see how I manage in front of the camera. I love the camera. I love being in front of the camera. Unfortunately, I have not yet used the camera as I wish for. It requires more than just recording something; it requires more thinking and planning, and writing, and editing, etc. It is a long hard process. So far I did few things here and there, but I can say for sure that I haven’t used its potential yet. I used it so far as my still camera, as it has great qualities.

Today, I also took it with me, honestly, I am not sure why, but I thought I might take few shots here and there and practice a little bit of editing when I am back.

Copenhagen this weekend, is full of activities, it is a long weekend. Monday is a holiday. The weather great today, there is a Carnival, and some kind of traditional Medieval Market event until Monday. I might go see that. I like this stupid stuff, but will see if I manage to grab someone with me. I don’t like going places alone, although many times I enjoy it after all.

So, here I am still sitting in Barresso, finished my cappuccino and sandwich, long time ago, the sun is almost gone, but I like it that I am writing and that from each sentence that I write, I can start hundreds of other sentences. I wish it is always like that. Although now I feel so non-coherent with what I wrote, I feel like I need to re-write or write about each topic separately, so I can give each topic what it really deserves. I think it is enough for now, I will not reread or rewrite. I will call this Blog, “The Mall”, since I feel that my writing is like going into a mall. Lots of topics to consume in one place, less quality, but fun. Lots of fun.

Sadness - piece by piece

Sadness, this is what I feel at the moment. Sadness, at the ben gurion airport. Sadness, deep in my heart. Sadness, this is what they make me feel. Sadness, this is what they want me to feel. Sadness and it is eating my heart, piece by piece. How stupid it is to eat your heart because of sadness that others cause you. I am stupid, I am sad too, I also eat my heart piece by piece.

I breath heavily, and I write. I drink my cappuccino slowly, and I write. I wish, I was not writing these lines at the moment, I wish to enjoy my cappuccino only, to drink it slowly, to feel its bitterness and to love it. To go around the duty free, look for a perfume I like and to buy it.

Sadness, I cannot control it. How stupid to feel sadness in such case. How stupid that I feel sadness instead of anger. I want to be angry, and I am sad. I am stupid too.

Number 5, this is me. How beautiful. Number 5, this is where I belong. Not number 1, not number 2, not even number 6. I am not a Jewish, I am not a terrorist. I am an Arab. I am almost a terrorist. This is why I am number 5. This is what they want to think, this is what they want me to feel like, and this is what I am accused of without any legitimacy to do so.

A “sticker” they call me, someone suspicious that needs the extra effort, that justifies the extra resources and that justify their existence. How sad it is.

How sad it is to be accused of something you did not do. Something you have no connection to, something you do not agree to. But, I am not a Jew, I am an Arab, a citizen of the state of Israel, and I am accused of almost terrorism. No matter how much I try to integrate, no matter how good I represent the country I hold its passport, No matter what I want. I am accused. I am number 5, I am a “sticker” and I am almost a terrorist.

Sad, it makes me feel sad. Not angry, not anymore. Sad. It is so stupid to feel sad. I am stupid, and I eat my heart, piece by piece.

Sometimes I ask myself why? I try to understand. But why should I? I don’t understand. I can never understand how a “number traumatic” people, assign numbers to other people. Why should I understand? I have been a good citizen all my life. Why should I be? They want me to be an Israeli, but they put me in non Israeli line. They want me to sing the Israeli anthem with pride, an anthem that doesn’t represent me, and yet put me in a separate line. They want me to hold the Israeli flag, and yet put me in “non-Israeli” line and security checks. What do you want? Do you want a white flag? Take it! Please leave me alone. Do you feel good now? Do you feel the power? The control? Do you have your orgasm already?! You can also come on me, please do it, I will swallow and shut up!

Killing me softly, it is. Piece by piece, I eat my heart, in sadness, I eat my heart and it hurts. Piece by piece, I eat my heart. Peace by piss!

The "D" way...

A huge cake, very tasty, covered with Marzipan, my favorite, and lots of happy people. Today we celebrated a launch of a product that was not delivered, or in regular people's words - just did not happen. I bet someone said:" damn, we cannot deliver the product on time, so what shall we do? What shall we do?

"Eureka!! We can still deliver the cake!"

Happy people in the kingdom of D.

(I wonder whether we will celebrate a new cake once the product will be really, but really, launched.)

Just less than a month ago, a different product was launched successfully 'on time, on budget', and there was NO cake. The D management decision was that the project was launched successfully since the people worked on it, were doing the job they were requested to, so why the hell would anyone bring them a cake?! No one is volunteering to work here.. Hello?! They all get paid.

But hey, if you don't do your job, a product doesn't launch, the system doesn't work, the organization collapses and all are stressed, then what would be better than a cake to lift the sad faces and low morale up? Correct, A cake!

That my dear friends, is the D way!

Now let's say that your project is in a critical phase and it is not performing, what would you do if you were to use the D way?

1. Focus on the problematic area and act fast.

2. Find the weak link within the problematic area and look into out of the box solutions.
3. Be efficient, be creative.

or

1. Immediately say, "There are no resources".

2. Start playing with the organizational chart - after 3 weeks of play, come with the conclusion that:

    a. "There are no resources".

    b.  4 more managers are needed immediately.

    c. You need to delegate this task to someone else because of: #3.

3. Communicate that you feel stressed, and you don't know when you will feel better.

4. Communicate your vacation plans that, what a bad luck, falls exactly on the planned launch date of the project you are leading.

and... the winning answer, is?!  Come on, do you really think I am going to tell you?  Think! Think!

So, now we have a new project manager replacing the stressed project manager, without much of knowledge transfer, but who cares after all the conclusion was that the project needs to be staffed with 4 new managers filling the organization chart vertically and horizontally (literal translation from arabic saying: Bil tool ew Bil 3ard), layer in front and layer in back. The more inefficient you are, the more successful you are, the more money burnt on managers the bigger  your project is, the more cakes you get!

If all this doesn't work and the project didn't launch on time (no way it is going to launch on budget, you already know that - right?), then just bring another cake, continue complaining about the size and the scope of the project and how huge it is, while you have more managers than developers and/or testers, but still, add few more managers since you are so busy changing the organizational chart again, preparing a new presentation to describe it to managers again, and joining additional 10 more status meetings a week. Ohh, how could I forget the status reports and the Minutes of Meetings that you need to write.

So now you invested 4.75 hours in writing detailed report and then another 4-5 days preparing a presentation for the executive managers (Decision makers), so they can see the real status of the project, the progress, the open issues, the risks and of course the new updated budget!

You send it for your direct manager, a part of the executive managers board, for his review, and then it comes back to you looking all "red" (track changes, track changes) like after the Great Northern War between Denmark & Sweden in 1700-1721.

Some numbers should be changed, others should just disappear, move left to right, right to left, change some colors, remove few sentences, add few others, make it look "realistic", and yuppy hurray, we are done!

It is ready for presentation! Serious decisions need to be made, the presentation should be as accurate as possible for best decisions. Executive managers, look at the presentation, the numbers look right ("Not more than X millions, Great, not need for board approval"), ask few questions to show interest and here we go, Go/NoGo?

Go, NoGo, Go, NoGo, Go Go Go!! and let the Boss enjoy the Cha Cha Cha (Cover His Ass) dance!

A comment to a comment to "أسطورة التزايد السكاني وأبعاده البيئية"

An answer to a comment on Nisreen's post that, became a post of my own ;-)

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Hi Nisreen,

I fully agree with you with regards to nature’s control. Nature has always been the conscious of humanity; it always finds ways to remind us “who’s the boss”. It always helps us to find ways to re-harmonize with it.

I see the point you were trying to convey and I would fully agree with you if we were speaking about a sterilized world that is not infected by “modernism", or lets be more specified and say “The culture of stuff” – stuff that costs money, and we need to continuously replace and get more of it.

I don’t think that the woman working in the field and nursing her children is poor if she lives in a similar culture that does not worship consumption or washing machines. In order to define “poor”, “rich” and other similar definitions and categories, we must relate it to other dimensions like time and place.

The woman in china, working in the field and that never seen a washing machine or a LCD TV or internet, is not poor. If she can survive and raise her children to be as healthy as possible within her time and place limits, then I do not perceive her as poor, regardless how different her life could be compared to mine.

The same woman, if in Egypt living in the grave yard nursing her children while begging for money so she can buy them food because the restaurant threw all the leftovers to the dogs and cats (in best case) instead of giving it to her, then she is poor. If she has no water to drink, because no water pipes reach the grave yard or she cannot afford buying (paying by money or equal to money, or even paying with her body) a place that has water, or she cannot drink from the polluted Nile , then she is poor. If because of her poverty she cannot run away from her “home” when her husband, relative and/or her neighbor abuses and rapes her, and when she gets pregnant unwillingly and cannot do anything about it, then she is poor. If she is struggling for her life, for her survival, then most probably she will not be able to read and write – it doesn’t mean that she cannot - she has more urgent needs.

Although I believe, like you, that there is enough food for everyone in the world, we both know that there are people starving as well and they are...poor. We both know that we eat and consume more than many others in the world. Not everyone is getting his/her share from the nature’s resources. Some get more, some get less.

Everyone that survives has a chance to a decent life (what is decent? Compared to what?), but let’s count how many made it out of the slums and grave yards and such. Once you are born with less, it is very hard to get more. The “environment” saves the world, exactly like with the animals, the strong survives.

The equation has changed, and this uncontrollable population in "modernized cultures" that is built nowadays on consumption, cannot bring any good to ecology and it needs to be controlled else we are creating a monster, a disaster. Therefore population in consumers’ countries must be controlled.

As for nature, I trust that it will always find ways to balance itself, even if on the expense of humans. It could be a natural disaster and it could be a war. The irony is that the rich mess with the environment, and the environment punishes the “poor”.

Culture doesn’t have to be written to pass it from one to another, we can pass it by songs, by behavior and tradition that is remembered and practiced. Other than that during the centuries only the privileged ones could learn to read and write and those wrote books and papers and made sure that the knowledge is preserved. At those times, women were not even allowed to learn how to read and write, not even the rich ones, and there were always rich and poor people before the invention of capitalism, before the invention of money the way we know it. So it is not black and white. There is so much grey, but some grey is darker and some is lighter.

So many topics related to each other. The chain of life. The cycle of chain of life.

A video from the Copenhagen Climate Change Demonstration In December COP15.

Everything & nothing - noncoherent thoughts

I feel in Arabic.
I think  in Arabic and Hebrew.
I write in Arabic, Hebrew and English.
My current world, is Danish.
No wonder I have an identity crisis.

Palestine/Israel is so small for me, I need the big world. But where is the big world? What is the big world? What do I want to do when I grow up? Why do I ask these questions after 33.5 years? Isn’t it too late for that? Or is it my awakening moment?

Wake up wake up...I always found it hard to wake up in the mornings...I always wake up late. But once I wake up I am full of energy and ready to eat the world, to grab it with my both hands and chew it, until nothing is left.

Who  am I? What am I? Am I happy? Am I sad? Where am I going? What do I feel?

I feel that I lost partial control, which makes me no one and nowhere. Either I gain full control back, or I want to loosen everything, and lose it all. To start from the beginning. Look, watch, see and flow with whatever life brings to me. Enjoy the moment of being alive, our time is final here, and who knows what will happen tomorrow. Sad. Lately I feel sad too many times, and I cannot figure out why. Sometimes I worry too much for other people's problems and feelings. I take responsibility on other people's lives while I ignore mine or neglect it. I feel I should stop doing that. Sometimes I want to run away, sometimes I want to sleep, sometimes I want to be invisible, and most of the times I want to feel warm arms around me, live laugh and experience.

A memory:

When I was in the 2nd grade, we had a football match with the other 2nd grade, I also played with the boys (let's face it, I was better than most of them). We lost. And after the match a classmate came to me, and told me a sentence I never forget...”I admire you so much" she said, "all the boys' heads are in the floor with despair, only yours is looking up", how a girl in the 2nd grade could have such an observation and tell me this sentence that I remember until today, about 27 years later. Amazing. Today, I feel I’ve lost, not much to be proud of or to admire, I walk in the streets and I seldom feel my head looking on the ground, instead of to the skies. Once I notice this, I always remember this sentence and try to raise my head and look ahead of me, look forward.

If they ever ask me about a person that had a great influence on my life, I will definitely include this girl in the list. Maryam, her name was. Unfortunately I do not remember her last name.

Beers and an Old Chair

Today I had a different Shopping experience. It was sunny, 5 degrees, wow :)

On the way to "Baresso" for the saturday morning cappuccino, I passed by an antique shop. I always pass by this shop. I always look at one chair that I love, and would like to buy. The shop is always closed when I pass by. Seems that the shop opens only twice a week for couple of hours only. Today, it was my lucky day, the shop is open and my chair was waiting there for me.

All it needed is a short bargaining about the price, and it became mine. I can say that today, I lost in the bargaining game that I love so much. I badly wanted the chair, and I was afraid to lose it. So I lost., but I feel like a winner. I love antique furniture. No, I don't understand in antique furniture, but there are few things and pieces that I would love to purchase and have in my apartment, house, home, or under whatever ceiling I would ever have.

So, here is my new "old" chair, it is simple, but it managed to charm me. The guy at the antique shop said it is from 19th century, I don't know whether to believe him or not, but don't care.

Speaking of shops that are always closed, there is another shop, a Beer shop, that I have never seen open. Today, as I mentioned, it was my lucky day, it was open. So we went into the shop, and it has a huge variety of Beers from all over the world, you can spend there so many hours just looking at the different bottles and shapes and designs. We didn't have much time, we spent just 10 minutes, and what we got, other than tasting a special Easter Beer made by my neighborhood brewery "Amager Brewery", is Three bottles of beer. Two are german, the one (in green) is a Wheat beer and the other (in red) is dark smoked beer. While the third bottle of beer is a Belgium beer based on Blueberries. 

The truth is that I didn't taste them yet, so I cannot tell how good they are, but i am definitely looking forward to check.

Work work & a single man

It's been a long time since I wrote anything in my blog. I blame work. I am working a lot lately and when I arrive home I am exhausted and have no strength to do anything but lay down, eat something, do nothing and go to bed. It is not OK. I like it when I write. I even think of many topics that I want to share in my blog, but then I just do not do anything about it. Now, I am forcing myself to write something, anything,  just to return to the path of writing. It is almost mid of March and this will be my first blog of the month...

I just came back from a movie, "A single man". I've seen its promo trailer few times in the previous 2-3 weeks, and it seemed as one of those movies that it is worth watching. The promo, did not tell anything about the story itself about the nature of the story. Nada. It was obvious though that it is a life story, a sad story, but nothing more. That made me curious and tonight I went to find out.

A SINGLE MAN is a romantic tale of love interrupted...It is the struggle of a man to find meaning of his life, after the death of another man, his long term partner and lover. It is about grief. It is about awakening. It is about destiny.

I did not read about the movie before i went to watch it, and I was surprised to find out about the gay story in it - something that made me wonder how come the promo, poster, etc. didn't indicate anything about that and whether there were some hidden reasons? That was strange..

I enjoyed the movie a lot. The camera work, the music and ofcourse Colin Firth that was amazing. His acting was so good, I was fascinated. He made me feel with him, live with him and grab his thoughts with all my senses. Although sometimes the pace of the movie seemed to be way too slow, the music kept me alert and waiting for the next move. The sense of humor in some sence was a must and a great refreshment for the heaviness of the movie, it made it lighter and eased on digesting the grief.

Philosophy 380

I want to win the one million miles, that Lufthansa Mile&More are offering for the winner of best Nickname given to its new A380 airplane.

My nomination is:"Philosophy 380" :-)

Do you understand what is a One Million miles? It means I can travel the world with lufthansa, Twice! Twice! All the world, without paying a penny! Well, maybe the tax..but that's peanuts, no? ;-)

You can press on the link below and give it a good rate, If i get it, it will benefit All of us, won't it? After all MY happiness is "your" happiness. So, what are you waiting, hurry up and vote :P

My nomination for the first Lufthansa A380: "The A380 the new Lufthansa flagship, a special experience, the Lufthansa A380. Find out more about the fascination of a new era in air travel. Take part, Raffles, Downloads, Photos, Video, Gallery, First Flight in 2010."

Birds Courtship & Mating

I was lucky today. I was attending a workshop with a few other people. The room was on the 5th floor of my work place. This floor has a surrounding huge balcony (unfortunately used mainly by smokers, but also for having a good beer once a while when the sun shines here in copenhagen).

This room has large windows overlooking the balcony, and all of a sudden while talking about converting old products to new billing system or doing a clean up in legacy, the guy leading the workshop became distracted and was looking outside, he laughed and said: "These birds...". Of course we all were curious and looked outside as well.

A couple of pigeons (also known as Rock Dove) were standing on the rail, facing the panoramic view of copenhagen, and courting.

It's been so long since I last saw such a view. It was adorable. They seemed so in love, like in stories. They were kissing gently, looking at each other, waiting for a sign, kissing again, and so forth. Then one of the pigeons flew over the other pigeon touched it for a second and went back to its place, and kissed again.

We were all wondering, what was that act? was it mating? but it was too short. So I came home and I had to find out about birds mating. Something I never thought about, as if it was obvious, but it is not. Call me stupid or call me ignorant, but when I read about it, I was actually so fascinated, that I decided it's worth a post, so here are some of the things I learned.

They were mating :-)

Most birds mating takes place by the coming together of their "cloacas", an act that could take less than one second. Sometimes it is called "Cloacas Kiss".

Reading more about birds I was also fascinated by their different social structures, some are alike humans and some are so different and even more "advanced" if we compare it with western values.

Birds are divided into 4 major social structures:

1. Monogamous (One male for one female)

2. Polygynous (A male with several female mates)

3. Polyandrous (A female with several male mates)

4. Promiscuous (A"chaotic" structure - many to many)

But these two pigeons, they are going to spend their whole lives together, they are Monogamous.

What is more interesting in birds life (not only, also some other animals), and as opposed to human life, or maybe better say some human cultures (I would say, heavily spread in the middle east) is that the male is the one to dress-up; change colors, to sing, to dance and do everything to impress her so SHE can CHOOSE HIM.

The female birds usually have colors that integrate with nature, are not too bold, are not calling :"Look at me, I am here", are not looking for attention, because they know that they don't need colors to get any attention, they are confident of what they got. While the male birds, are colorful, are outstanding in their beauty. The colors and the "make-up" are there to make them feel special, they want attention and they want to be chosen and to be loved. Like it or not, seems that it is working.

Single mothers birds:

What grabbed my attention were the Polyandrous type of birds. Looks like some types of these female birds not only mate with several male mates, but the male needs to work extra hard to get them (unlike other types of female birds), and then after mating, they (the females) leave the male bird, build a nest and nest by themselves. She creates a single mother family!

Wow, there is still so much I would like to write about, but I guess it is enough..soon this post will look like a lecture, and it is Not ;-)

As an appreciation for pigeons, I attached a 10 seconds pigeon clip I created once for a theater play that I participated in its writing, acting, singing and most important, directing. It was called: "Life N' Shit".  About that, maybe I will write something in my next posts.

Copenhagen on a semi-icy day

Yesterday I went out to the city (Copenhagen). It was relatively warm (1-2C) after few weeks of below zero degrees and heavy snow that Copenhagen didn't know for more than 20 years. It is funny, that someone like me who is afraid of cold, can just walk around when it is below zero. I guess the human body and the human brain can adjust to anything if it knows how to deal with it accordingly - in this case, to learn how to dress properly. layers, layers, layers, no cotton, only wool.

The purpose of the walk in the city was to take some photos of the de-freezing canals and river. I love the view of the ice floating, breaking, melting. The ducks walking on the ice instead of swimming in the water.

Unfortunately it was a grey day, not so bright, but still i would like to share with you some of those photos.

You in my hometown Haifa, shame on you that you were spending your day on the beach tanning and swimming! Shame on you!

Digging into my mind..

Lately, I had to dig deep into my memory, into my brain, into my soul to find and to touch the leftovers. Time passes by and we stay with so many leftovers. Some are black and some are white. Some are pink and some are brown. Some are rotten and some just lay there waiting for a touch, a hand to reach out and do something. Something good or something bad, it doesn't matter as long as it is something.

So many leftovers. Most of it is sleeping. Some of it is waiting, some of it is crying or screaming, but the voice do not reach our ears. Or better say, our ears adjusted to different levels of waves... We don't want to hear, we don't want to listen, we want to....Forget and sleep.

I do not want to look into it. I know what I will see and I refuse to see it. I refuse to touch the places that hurt, why should I? we live once, then why dig into the shit of life? If we live only once then why not forgive, forget and live? It was hard, but relieving, beautiful, and then ugly, I couldn't look into it. But I had to.

Few weeks ago, although I didn't want to, someone made me look into it, made me push my hands into the mud and the pus, into the wounds and the blood, and grab my agony in my hands and look at it. Stare at it, as if it was a mirror. The mirror of my life, the mirror that directed me in life.

Avatar 3D

So finally after weeks of trying to watch the Avatar 3D, using the Telia Tirsdag promotion (buy 1 get 1 free on tuesday), we managed to find a seat.

Not that I ever care to be the 1st watching a movie, but it is never too late, for a nine Oscar nominations movie, including best picture, best art direction, best sound editing, best sound mixing and, of course, best visual effects.

Anyway, mission accomplished. 2 hours and 40 minutes of pure 3D pleasure, done!

The story? Banal!

Same story, different movie. We had hundreds of such stories about the American colonialism around the world, whether in year 2000, 2010 or 2154, it is all the same.  As Col. Miles Quaritch, the embodiment of American colonialism said: "we treat terror with terror" or translated to people's language, 'We want something, we call it terror, we are free to kill because we we kill for freedom'.

The destroyer, is american. The saviour, is american (Australian actually, but who cares..)

The visuals are amazing. Thinking that the human mind created such a world, so beautiful, so colorful, so fascinating - wow! The jungle looks like a place to fear of, but after all when we connect to it, when we bond, it is the safest place to be. It is the most beautiful place to be, it is where everything is complete, where spirituality flourishes and live.

This is not a review of the movie, it is just some thoughts i have..

Passports and stuff...

Couple of days ago I had a small chat with a good friend of mine from a tiny Island in the Persian Gulf , a kingdom, Bahrain (not one, but two seas).

I often fantasize about visiting her or other friends in the various arab countries. Have a good dinner together, chit-chat, see how they live, learn about the different cultures within the one huge culture..... Feel that I belong somewhere.

I say fantasize since it is not possible. As an Arab Palestinian, struggling to keep my identity within Israel and the occupied territories on daily basis, I am "denied" entry to most of arab countries.

As an Israeli passport holder, I am rejected by most arab countries.

I stopped fantasizing about lebanon, the wet dream of all arabs, I stopped fantasizing about syria, about UAE, about Aljiria, libya, Iraq (haha!), Kuwait, Oman, Saudia Arabia, Yemen, Comoros (did you ever hear about that?!), Djibouti (where french is the official language?!), Chad? (Is it arab? French? Other?), Mauritania, Sudan, Somalia?

I still have dreams of Morocco (should do again - what a fascinating place), Tunisia (Hopefully soon), Egypt (What a wasted country!), Jordan (Only if Majida el Roumi will have a concert) - In principle those are the arab countries that I can visit as a tourist with Israeli passport, preferably in a group of dancers or singers, then the authorities can issue a visa to Qatar too - Yeeee Haaaa.

The ironic that a country like Bahrain or UAE is so hard to travel to, after all it is not considered as an "enemy" country. So what is the fuss? The israeli passport, fine! What about the arabs holding an israeli passports? are we also the occupiers? so we need to be punished? Thank you really.

Or do the arab countries prefer the palestinians as refugees? in camps? without passports? without the possibility for mobility? Does it look better when we are victimized? So we are punished when we stand-up? when we say "here we are" - we exists and we want to visit you..

After all if i travel to an arab country then it is my cloth that are taken off, and it is me to be investigated, so i really do not need you to add salt to my wounds...So as I told my dear friend, "If you don't want me to visit you, then Lalli Alatu Leila (What Leila said), Europe and many other countries accepts me WITHOUT even a Visa!

For those who do not know what Leila said, then she said and pardon my "french": "La Tizi"

I guess I was not in my best mood, so i was politically correct NOT!

My dear fellows in the arab countries, Al wada3!

The Market

So, tonight as usual for the past week, i was playing Texas Hold'em poker..reached almost 3M$, but ofcourse became too tiered and on my way losing them. Now I am a bit below 2M$ - and just to remind you, few days ago all i wanted is to lose my chips so i can close this application. Addictive game, ha?

Anyway, while playing something interesting happened, the below chat:

Fesih: maya
Maya: hi
Fesih: msn
Fesih: ok
Maya: from where
Fesih: turky
Maya: plz 100k
Fesih: ok
Fesih: msn
Maya: soft-angle19

and then they both disappeared.

Needless to say that Fasih's picture looked like a man in his 50's, bold, large mustache, in some people's eyes he could be handsome, but you could easily say he was ugly, and Maya that had a picture of woman in her 20's (or maybe 19?), beautiful and her picture is considered as sexy.

I wonder what the virtual 100k$ could get Fasih? Probably another virtual commodity.

No matter where, no matter when? The Market exists. There are buyers and there are sellers. There are needs and there are people to satisfy these needs. It was not clear to me here who was the buyer and who was the seller..I am still wondering..

Morality? That's not for me to decide!

Andrea Bocelli & Google Buzz

Yesterday I was buzzed by google. It buzzed me to be buzzed, because i was not ready for buzzing. After i was buzzed, i thought to myself: "What is all the buzz aboutgoogle buzz?!", and then i realized, it is a catchy name! Buzz!, Buzz! Buzzzzzzz!!

It is so catchy like a Bee buzzing its sweet honey.

But i was disturbed:

1. There was no control of who can or cannot follow me! Who said that the lady from the post that i sent her an email 3 years ago to check out a delivery not received yet, should be able to follow me?

You may ask yourself, why would she? and I ask you, why would she NOT? We are much more followers than leaders. everyone wants and needs to follow.

2. People claim that this might/should replace facebook, and i think to myself, what a wonderful lie.

This Buzz is not going to replace facebook, not that i have shares in facebook but it is a different platform, different concept, so different. I would say, this should/can replace twitter. This "platform" that has no meaning in life, that is a waste of valuable time, exactly like my facebook status. But, people love it.

So Buzz is an enhanced twitter, it is instance, it is from everywhere, it is from the inside. It shares, it connects but no games or applications, or a valentines day gift, or xmas tree gift, or an animal to grow, not farms, no mafia, no poker, and no aquarium..It is Serious! for Serious people, who have important things to share...like: "good morning all my buzzies..", "I buzzed my boss, and he loves it - i expected a raise in my salary next Buzz..", "what a great Bozz I have, he Buzzed everyday on his way in the Buz".

Whatever..what's important today that i found out that Andrea Bocelli will be in copenhagen on 9.4.2010 for a concert. I hurried up to the internet and checked the prices, and wooops, the cheapest ticket is like 110 Euros, the most expensive is aprox 200 Euro. With all my respect to Andrea, our relationship is not that strong to spend a 200 Euro on him. We could spend time together in youtube and i will be just fine. If he do not like to strengthen our relationship, then let it be. I am not going to force it on him..

It would be different if he was fairuz, or majida el roumi, still we have blood relation, it is strong, it is majestic, it is divine..I hope Andrea will understand that i am not going to make the extra step this time, it is his turn. If not, then we are done. kaput. Khalas!

Texas HoldEm Poker

Just Folded. Now at this moment. Yup, facebook Texas HoldEm Poker. I tried last weekend to lose all my chips, I had around 500,000$ - I reached 70,000$ and then wooops, In 30 minutes approximately they became 1.3M$ !! Wow.. what am I going to do with that?!! The goal was to lose chips, to delete application and now I am winning chips and spending more time on this game than ever. Not good, not good.

Sometimes, I say money instead of Chips, but it ain't real money. I wonder whether i would play same way if it was real? I doubt it. I guess i'd be more careful and risk avert! Which means, losing slowly! No winnings without taking risks! never seen that.

High Risk, High Return. Low Risk, slow death..

I just raised, and lost, because it is not only about risk, but also about being very attentive to others, to the cards, to the table, to your guts.

Play risky, but play responsibly.

What is Bullshit Batata?

It is, "Bullshit", you all know what is that! and it is "batata", potatoes in arabic. Did it have any meaning? Nope. I don't think so, but it has now. It is my new Blog about my bullshit... and batata.

I usually, do not have the nerve to write any blogs, I had one long time ago, in a time of crisis, a secret one, under Bullshit name, a funny name though, i wrote for a while, it was good. good for the spirit, but then i abandoned it. I have always thought to myself that i should write a blog, anything, once or twice a week, doesn't matter about what, but come on, who has the time for this?

So why now? just because i found this "test" blog in my account and the design was ready, so i didn't need to do much, just write something, the set-up was already there.. This is why. No Crisis. I just found out about this "test" blog that i created in April 2008 :-) Yup, and now it has a new name.

Next step is to put a bet on: "For how long I would keep up with this blog, and when am I going to abandon it?" Any bets? come on (not that anyone of you know about this account, but as long as it has this bullshit, I ain't gonna publish it..Yuppi Yeaahh!

Have a good night from freezing (-5) copenhagen!

Up In the Air

So, I just came back from the movie "Up in the air" with Goerge Cloony. A nice movie, spoke so much about me, up in the air. I love it. Love being up in the air, traveling from one place to another, with my small bag, taking pictures here and there, counting the miles, getting free upgrades, free meals, sitting in the bar, ordering room service (he didn't), surrounded by people that i don't know and will never know. Never alone, always lonely. I love it. I miss it. I hate it.