The Mall

This morning, I woke up at 9:00, I brushed my teeth, and immediately began to watch a movie. “Sex and the City”. The 2nd “Sex & The City” film is already in the cinema and I thought to myself that it might be a good time to watch the 1st one. Just in Time. Only 2 years of delay. What a lovely way to start my morning.

New York. New York. Sometimes, deep inside I want to live like a New Yorker, a “real genuine” New Yorker, like the ones in the movies. Then I realize that I am fooling myself. I don’t have it in me. I am too practical for a New Yorker life style.

At least, after the film ended, I had thought of going out to the city. If no sex, then at least a city, no? :-)

But those ladies in the “Sex and the City” didn’t agree that I just go to the city, they demanded me to take care of few abandoned issues, that I didn’t take care of the last couple of weeks. So, some basic cosmetics stuff were taken care of. Few grams were lost from my body, and it felt good and fresh. I took a nice shower, indulged myself with my favorite Almond body oil, looked for my abandoned contact lenses and tried to remember how to use them. I don’t like my glasses, I feel that it hides me, it distracts people from the real me, hides my beauty. I am allowed to think so, at least. Sometimes I feel less feminine when I put my glasses on. I have to admit, not always and I know it is bullshit, and I am talking so un-feminist, but I was never lead by rules of others. Don’t ask me why I am justifying me feelings, maybe the rules of others do affect me after all. But when I want to feel pretty, then putting on my glasses definitely do not help. My contact lenses are on, my Polarized Ray Ban classic sun glasses, that I last used in summer of 2009 when I was visiting home for few days, were taken out of the drawer (this time I remembered where I put them), a pair of torn TH Jeans, a colorful Uniqlo shirt, G-Star white light jacket, and my red-white addidas sneakers are all put perfectly on me. I am ready to go.

This is me, conservative in almost everything other than my little brain (Maybe). I am conservative in cloths, conservative in shoes and conservative in choosing sun glasses. I find it a waste to buy something that will last for 2 months and then should be replaced by something else more fashionable. Mostly I look for the classic look, where “my stuff” can last for as much as I like. It is something that I am trying to explain, and I think I know the root cause of it. I try to change sometimes, and I successfully manage, but very fast I will be back on the conservative track. I am not sure whether I want to change. I have no problem to pay for expensive things, but as long as it is classic and sustainable. I will try to explain some other time. Not now, not here. Since now and here, I never meant to touch this topic, I didn’t even mean to get personal. All I wanted is to write something, just something, as simple as that. I didn’t write anything since the 6th of April, 2010, on my way back from a home visit. I felt paralyzed. I wanted to write about so many things, and I couldn’t even log in. I was still exhausted. My mind has blocked every time I wanted to start writing anything. I took a break, I was sure I will return, and here I am.

Sitting on the window side of Barresso coffee shop, looking at the people walking the streets of Copenhagen with their shorts, flip flops and sun glasses. Sunny at last, it is 18 degrees. Summer is here.

My cappuccino is prepared to perfection; My Tomato & Mozzarella sandwich, is not more than OK, but at least I got a 20% discount, so I don’t feel that bad buying it.

When I left home today I took with me few items:

My old green tiny shuffle iPod that has a laser-engraved signature on it:

“iAngelique. Made in Heaven.”

I connect it to my new olive green Sony designed headphones that I bought in Tokyo.

The main songs are for Marcel Khalife, Souad Massi, Wadi3 el Safi, Nasri shams el deen, Kamilia Jubran, some other modern “already old” Arabic mix songs, and most importantly “Sahrieh”, a Ziad Rahbani play.

I am so afraid to lose these songs if I try to add new songs. I don’t know where I have the list loaded into the iPod, and I am afraid that any update, I will lose everything. And I don’t want that. I keep listening to the same songs and the same play, over and over and I am never fed up.

I also have my 10” Samsung laptop that I bought last year in London. I bought it especially for this purpose, to be able to have it with me everywhere, any time and write if I feel like it. I already proved it as a great buy, one of my best buys in the last couple of years, I must admit. I love it. The battery also lasts for ~6+ hours, so come on let’s admit it. It is perfect.

I have a Sony HD 120 GB video camera which is also my still camera. I bought it in Berlin. My plan was (and still) to record myself for all kind of purposes, like video blog, or comedy sketches that I write, or just to see how I manage in front of the camera. I love the camera. I love being in front of the camera. Unfortunately, I have not yet used the camera as I wish for. It requires more than just recording something; it requires more thinking and planning, and writing, and editing, etc. It is a long hard process. So far I did few things here and there, but I can say for sure that I haven’t used its potential yet. I used it so far as my still camera, as it has great qualities.

Today, I also took it with me, honestly, I am not sure why, but I thought I might take few shots here and there and practice a little bit of editing when I am back.

Copenhagen this weekend, is full of activities, it is a long weekend. Monday is a holiday. The weather great today, there is a Carnival, and some kind of traditional Medieval Market event until Monday. I might go see that. I like this stupid stuff, but will see if I manage to grab someone with me. I don’t like going places alone, although many times I enjoy it after all.

So, here I am still sitting in Barresso, finished my cappuccino and sandwich, long time ago, the sun is almost gone, but I like it that I am writing and that from each sentence that I write, I can start hundreds of other sentences. I wish it is always like that. Although now I feel so non-coherent with what I wrote, I feel like I need to re-write or write about each topic separately, so I can give each topic what it really deserves. I think it is enough for now, I will not reread or rewrite. I will call this Blog, “The Mall”, since I feel that my writing is like going into a mall. Lots of topics to consume in one place, less quality, but fun. Lots of fun.