Haifa. July 4th 2010. Not in a very good mood. a sudden change that i cannot explain yet. maybe it is the ongoing stress in this country, maybe it is the politics? the heat? or maybe it is the economic situation? I am not sure. I am just not in a good mood. Laying on the sofa at my friend's place N., I can see and listen to the mediteranien sea waves, hitting the shore and the rocks. I can hear the train from time to time, and some traffic on the Haifa-Tel Aviv main street. I am laying on the sofa and thinking of what went wrong. I cannot point on one thing. Too many things went wrong in some people's eyes. So many things are right in others'. I am in between, the right and wrong, hanging in between, walking on the borders, on a very thin rope, trying to keep my balance and other people's balance as well. I want to sleep. close my eyes, open my eyes, and be somewhere else, in different situations, in different time, in different realities. I want to close my eyes, and see blue and green and purple, I want to see the colors of life mixing into one beautiful painting in a perfect harmony. I want to close my eyes, and wake up where there is no sorrow or dispair. is it heavean? is it hell? is it life or is it death? no one knows, and no one can tell where the hell is heaven, and where for God's sake is hell! what is better freeze to death or hot to death? does it matter the path or the process, if the results were the same?
