The day after 11.11.11

So, I have decided that this year of 2011 ends here on 11.11.11!

Today is the day after, meaning it is new year 12.11.11, therefore I must have my end of year resolution.

The year of 11.11.11 was a very good year for me, I think.

I turned 35, which is cool.
I have a "stable", good, "fun" job. 
I enjoy my life. Yay.
I love the people in my life. Very much.
I got to know some interesting new people. whom I like.
I have the best relationship with my mom ever, I think.
I love me. (Obviously not always did, but now I do and I do even more - Narcissism)
I love people. I Do, I do - with reservations still.
I love life with all its good and bad, happiness and sadness, and there is a lot of each.

I was actually thinking to myself, that every time I am happy, there must be something that makes me sad, and every time that I am sad, there must be something that makes me happy.
As if both, happiness and sadness are in a competition of who pleases me more.
In balance. The beauty of life. The Mystery of life, which I am in love with.

Back to the year of 11.11.11.

So I have learned to open up, a little bit more.
To accept people the way they are, a little bit more.
To enjoy people with all their differences, madness, noises, and calmness.
To look into their eyes, to surrender, to give myself to them and let them decide how much they'd like to get and when. Without too many expectations (though very hard and no matter how much I try I still build expectations) and without too many conditions.

You like me, voila, take as much as you want. You don't like me, then Au revoir.
If I like you, I want you to give me, If I don't like you then accept that I don't.

I am trying to keep writing since it is 4:45 AM and I need to keep awake until ~9:00AM, but I am not so sure how much I can. I think I can't, maybe I can. No I can't, I can!

OK, I cannot concentrate anymore. I must sleep for 2 hours. Not sure I like this post. But, cannot do anything now.